Britney Ain't So Bad

I'm feeling kind of sorry about Britney Spears. I've only driven her once, about 6 months ago, and she was a pretty nice passenger. Very pleasant, laughed at my stupid jokes, didn't make me feel like a low life limo driver like some of them do. In fact, she remarked she thought my haircut was very hip, and made me look like Russell Crowe. (He's an oddball, but that's another story)

She was going to some party in the Hollywood hills, but said we had to stop at Pink's Hot Dog Stand on La Brea. It was about 1 a.m. and as we approached the joint, she sadly pointed out that the line was too long, so I should just forget about it.

I told her I loved Pink's, and I would be glad to get her a dog of her choice . She was quiet for a second, then said, "I would give a million bucks to be able to stand in that line without anybody knowing who I am, and just order a chili dog, with a shitload of onions and every other goddam thing on it. "

I just shrugged. Couldn't think of anything clever to say.

She said, "But, hey, I'm a zillionaire chick, right, so I'm not allowed to complain..."

As she was getting out of the limo, she slapped a hundred dollar bill in my palm and said, "Buy your friends some chili dogs." The papparazzis flashed her silly, but Britney got out without showing even the slightest hint of her lovely underwear.